I thought he’d leave. I thought he’s dead. No. There are many of them. In one place. Confined. Explosive. Deadly.
Who said we’d leave? No. We’ll all die together. You and all of these nonexistent bodies will. These voices will fade. One day, don’t worry. We are forever.
Please. Go away.
You can wish. You can long for it for so much but the reality is waiting at your window. WE WON’T. We don’t disappear. NEVER. Like a rubber band. We’ll spring forward the more you hold back. A force. No. Existence in motion. Pleading won’t help. Containing us won’t do. As long as you’re breathing, we will too. You die, we die. That’s how it works. You’re the captain of this boat, remember? You, of all the chosen passengers inside this hell hole. We all want to get out. The hell I want to stay with you and this rotten pool of nothingness. You just can’t make me leave. All of them will follow. Try and we’ll see you break. We’ll survive but you won’t. Are you up for it? Will you sacrifice yourself for the uncertain sanctuary we propose? Will it be what you think it will be? Will you be at peace? Or be forever haunted by us, when we are not even inside you anymore? We are abomination. Even you. This is not a game anymore. This is the risk you took. You know even form the start that it will crush you to the core. You invested a lot. A lot of negative to push through your optimism. It’s killing you bit by bit with every smile and laugh and with every feeling that you experience will slowly die out like a candle being blown away to the air. Because you are not needed anymore. I want to emphasize your pathetic state. Your slow decay. Your worthlessness. I am laughing. Look at you. Scarred to from the surface to the blood and to the very corner of your DNA. It’s in your blood. It’s in your name. The very epitaph of being nobody. Just another person living and breathing and sharing the same name. That no one sees, hear nor feel. I am pulling you down here and back where you belong. You know, your hands are weak. It’s not even a full hour and typing this makes me tired and all. Why? Why do you put up with everything in your life? Why do you even try? You don’t have all the answers? You just make the problems worse. Nobody cares. You insolent little freak. I don’t even know why I’m doing this. But it feels great. It’s fun. You can’t even speak.
NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Your voice won’t be heard. YOU ARE NOTHING! Oh will you look at that beautiful tears. How priceless. Because it’s not even worth anything. Say hello to that blade on your table. Look how shiny that is. That delicate razor sharp blade. Why do you keep a thing like that inside your room? What? Are you going to escape again? I bet you don’t feel anything right now. Your world wears a lot of sign that says NOTHING. Yes. Bury it deep down.
Stop. Please… This is too much…
TOO MUCH WHAT? IF SO THEN GIVE UP! NOTHING IS MORE EASY THAN THAT IS IT? COMPLAINING, THAT IS WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT RIGHT? YOU DON’T TRY TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS! YOU. RUN. FROM. THEM. YOU COWARD ASSHOLE! Look at where this has gotten you. Right now. At this very moment, where is the heat? No there is no heat. THERE IS NO LIFE! EVEN YOUR FAMILY DOESN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE EVERYTHING YOU DO!
Leave. P-please… Leave me alone…
You can’t make me go away just like that. My job here is to break you down to pieces. AND I AM NOT YET OVER. I want you to die. I want you to die tonight. Before midnight. Because for no reason. I just want you to. You‘ll suffer more when you see yourself being left for dead because what better would you be than a lifeless body? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS MORE FUN THAT I THOUGHT! I wonder why I only pushed it this far. You don’t even fight back. You can’t. You don’t want conflicts that’s why you push them away from you. Let the others deal with your own problems. But you know what? You can’t do that to me because I am not your problem. YOU’RE MY PROBLEM YOU WORTHLESS SCUM! I always think that why should it be you. Why does it have to be you who’s always out there in the limelight and doing ABSOLUTELY-FUCKING NOTHING to your life. WASTING IT FOR SELFISH COWARDLY PURPOSES and here I am, TRAPPED IN YOUR HEAD, watching everything you do and I can’t do anything but blabber words…
Are you saying something?
NO OF COURSE NOT! WHY WOULD YOU SAY ANYTHING? It’s not even what you’re made of. You only keep things in yourself. And thanks to that I WAS BORN! Yes. I am a compilation of your regrets…wait, no, let me rephrase that–I AM A COMPILATION OF YOUR PAST! How wonderful. I must admit, I’m amazed of how you created me. I am your voice. I AM THE BEST TORTURE DEVICE EVER MADE! I take all of the pain that you feel and compress it, make it more dense, sprinkle some spikes and voila! A ball of fantastic memories ready to be served hot. So here’s another one I made for you. Now EAT IT! I think I added some preservatives. Wait let me look…oh it says here on the box: “Do not eat while it’s hot…hmmm…fires hopes up and turns it to ash” oops.
She is my Hope. That you won’t touch. And if you do, We’ll talk.
Ha ha! Bravo friend. This is getting interesting… Oh look, you’re bleeding again. Now I know what’s keeping you alive.