A response to Madonna Kolbenschlag’s “Exit The Frog Prince”
To whom it may concern,
Once upon a time, we were a fairy tale until we come to the last phrase of our story and realized that “happily ever after” is not the end of all stories. I recognize your pain and anguish and as far as I can see, the most beautiful pain is the one we cannot disguise or hide. But just as like the times when we were strangers, this rooted from the promise of a kiss that rescued you from the promise of frozen time.
Have I not made any move, this would not have happened. Perhaps, I am to blame for I am always lost to my duties instead of spending my time with you that you are led to such conclusions. But I am not going to refute all of those for I respect your own thoughts and for making you feel all of those, I am really sorry. Believe that I did not intend to make you feel that way nor for once did I think little of you. We are only victims of our own preconceived assumptions. Though I am guilty acting through your perspective, I take it as a reminder I will never need.
A man—and I mean man and woman—is always flooded with initial (and in being so) irrational emotions in a tremendous and loaded stimuli such as a kiss upon waking. This appears romantic as the act for your own redemption when it does not mean anything other than that. We did not happen by accident but have you not realized that all good stories end with the saving, a kiss until the last page of the tale? The answer is that the beginning is the only good part. As children, we are obscured from the hardships of reality that we are not told how to overcome it and I believe this has fallen upon you. The princess is saved and she is alive but what accounts for you to think that it will always be the same after the ending of the story? But in regards to the kiss, it does not mean that it is not an act out of impulsive desire but fired by my passion and hope that you are still alive. I may not have known you before, nor have I known your name but seeing you alive after what I have done is something beyond imaginary that exceeds our natural biological responses and I expected that we are more than just strangers. If the hands of Fate willed this then we shall be together beyond happily ever after.
Certainly, generalizations would not help us now. From what I have read from your letter, you are once again succumbing to the social structures delicately made to suffice for the answers we cannot fully grasp; but we can only speculate through what we see. You should have confronted me and know that each and every human being is different regardless of the gender. If I have not yet exposed myself to you, then ask me why I am the way I am. Because everything goes odd after you have started to remove the veil for we do not know all things, and all we do not know, we cannot understand and what we cannot understand, we are afraid of and tend to curse them just because of the simple fact that we do not understand. I may have carried characteristics that have enticed you but all of those things are only the light from my fingertips and are too far from my very core. Men are not living bold individuals that what you see is what you get. Men are people too, and I recognize that also with the women and by people, I meant different by nature but equal in capabilities. I do not want you to think of me as unfeeling as a generalized man should be. Only that I am not as expressive as you are because if a woman’s force is emotions, then I refuse to confront you with emotions for nothing good will come if you fight force with force. Wars do not determine who is right and gods do not favor those who is virtuous and true. These are the follies of man. And I refuse to live by the words of the others.
I want that the same for you. I do not want to define yourself through what you see in me. Because I want to be with you as you who are supposed to be. I do not intend to mean that “you as what the society wants you to be” but I want you to be free in my arms because a woman is not supposed to be limited by being her and I want you to experience that from me. I am doing this to make you by your own doing. I only hope that this freedom I am gladly offering would not be taken as an advantage but I am only here, standing up waiting for you to stand by my side as I watch you lay down wailing and complaining about inequalities but rather you must see yourself from the eyes of another to know where you are and what you have really been doing. All I am giving you is a chance to liberate yourself for I have taken away that bonds from you and all you must do is realize it. Is this not a help for what you want to be? The world cannot be changed unless we initiate the change that it needs—the minds of the people. I am making us the Adam and Eve of this century and we will learn from the mistakes of the people that came before us. Do you not want that? If I have given up my masculinity, would you also give up your femininity? Besides, what do those two concepts even mean? Must we conform to the fact that we understand the human condition of gender bias because we created it? And if so, I believe we need a change within ourselves to find peace with one another. I offer you a different view of the world. I am opening not only doors and windows but even showing your mind what could be. Every single word secretly paints a fairy tale of when we melt into one.
A man is no more than a woman. The social structure has conditioned our minds to think the way they do. The only conclusion I have led myself into is that you have not realized the person I am for I am different from the rest. That is why you look for answers in the places where my tracks are nowhere to be found. I understand that. I apologize for the times I was not by your side that you may have tried to look at me through different men and equate your thoughts and compare them to me as you try to ask yourself the questions that you have answered yourself in which I provided none.
The songs of love make you feel but does not give any answers for they are fixated by the notes and lyrics and does not change over time. The songs of men, yearning for their beloved as they utter words of loneliness, rejection and incompleteness without the other. But love is not complementary and love must be whole in package within a person. Begin to love yourself first. Make time for yourself and be you, stay that way and no one can ever break you. I am not supposed to be a brick and you are not a house that would crumble when I am not there. I want to see you happy for being yourself and doing what you want for I deserve not any of your radiance once the sun starts to set. Love is the promise of beauty and immortality shared by two lovers that are complete by themselves and therefore transcend beyond completeness together. A good fabric cannot be made if one thread can easily snap in such little force but it needs the completeness in itself to create a magnificent whole.
The words of endearment such as angels, Muse and others are only spoken to women to feel good of themselves and must you not elevate yourselves and free from the false necessity of those words? The treatment of men to women is a delusion—for it is an illusion shared and experienced by several people—and setting them to a pedestal is entirely needless if we all want to be equal. If women feels unimportant, suppressed, or marginalized then they must realize themselves as an equal counterpart to men but not to the point of having domination to the world for the idea that patriarchy is dead. Our minds are lagging behind time. We are still conditioned to the thinking of the past for it may have been an evolutionary product that our ancestors think this way because it has been instilled in the minds of several generations until we have come into existence. Now we must remove that medieval mindset and realize the actualization of our time. We do not need a separation of sexuality apart from our biological structures as male and female. Boundaries do not keep anybody out, they just fence us in. There is no need to act a role or wear the clothes one has to because society told them to do so. Liberation is not achieved through another but within the self. To survive is to recondition the self’s mindset and be released from these social structures. To be complete in one’s own sense. And this is how I see everything.
You can hate me. It only means you do not understand. But it does not show that you are right nor am I. And I can only state myself in defense for you are blind to my thoughts and I am to yours. We search for higher ground when we start to feel that we are about to drown. Only to realize that it is not the water where we are drowning but to the air we are breathing. We are asphyxiated by our own thoughts and we cannot actually see the same thing because we are not looking at it in the same space even we are at the same time. We only have perspectives that would move us to tell others what we experience to glorify our existence. Recognition brings us happiness that is why we seek it to others but I stand to my ideals that happiness is the “italization” of experience to the things that would soon fall into decay and we as humans are no exception. Start to be happy in yourself and magnify those experiences and live life to the point of tears for tears are the orgasmic release of emotions that cannot be contained in the moment by consuming oneself to the flames of joy, being burned to ashes and be reborn like the phoenix, and I want you to carry its beauty as you experience to fly with brilliance, to die, and try to live again. I intend to let you experience this beauty in aesthetic arrest that we will discover the world in awe—defined as a strong feeling of fear or respect and also wonder—, the sublimity of the world through nature and this is the experience that I want to share with you but only when you have built yourself as a complete whole and release yourself from the bindings of the social structures, then we can start to go on through this journey. We have already cheated death so many times. If we are going to die, why not cheat it again tonight?
I may not have rescued you but instead, I disturbed you from your sleep. But do you agree of the beauty that ripples form only when there is disturbance in the water? Within that context, I know you are not whole such as a child with no sense of self desires his toys to make himself full or “occupied” for the time being. There is the sense of dependency upon objects that makes him whole but the moment that object is lost, the child will wail and is also the one who is “lost” for the object defines himself and such as a child looks for other children whom he also thinks “mirrors” himself. But I cannot mold you into what I desire for I respect your individuality and only if you would want to come with me. I am not as a prince as what they tell me but I am more of an artist beneath this armor, swords and shield you see but really, not all knights in shining armor can make your dreams come true. I am still a kid in aging skin; a hypocrite trying to grow.
I do not desire for you to live as a housewife but live an entirely different life apart from others—a life of a human being. From the start, I had set you free that even your heart will treat your ribcage not that of a prison but a newfound home for in these interpretations and meanings we define ourselves and for what you accuse of me as a man not being manly enough, first realize why cannot I?
Lost in your eyes,
P.S. Forget about tonight. Tomorrow will be here so soon and we’ll be busy singing, “The wicked witch is dead!”