Tag Archives: Moon

Lunar Eclipse

Not even the thickest of the clouds

can keep the sun

from burning bright.

 

Nor would darkness dare to

compete against the light.

 

…but nobody asks about 

what is in the shadows…

 

trapped in between…

…a solitary existence behind light.

 

Struggling to escape from the dark

to be free…

  to be known…

    to be seen…

under the light…

yet, it is.

 


A Calling for Eternal Slumber

And I could talk to the moon every night

About the things we cannot grasp

About how we struggle to keep chasing

The sun we dream to have

 

We burn bridges instead of creating them

We isolate ourselves to the things we love the most

Fearing that someday we’ll regret

How we lost the things that keeps us who we are

 

Until we lose every part of ourselves

Bit by bit tearing us apart

Until the fire burns us to ashes

Slowly drifting to the memories of the wind

 

Every single thing you own will fade

Every single friend you love won’t stay

But neither of these, I have none

But only a single person, the epitome of my existence

 

Yet the things we desire are the ones out of reach

It’ll dare you to jump to the ocean

And swim to the farthest island

And no one will care if you reach it alive or not

 

So I pretend not to care if she’ll stay or not

In my life, though she’s not my possession

Yet her her presence is enough

To stir my emotions

 

How many times I tore myself apart longing for her

But I cannot because I have myself

A problem no one sees, hear or feel

A problem neither I could comprehend

 

How Nobody feels my agony beneath my lungs

How Nobody sees me alone inside the darkness of my mind

How Nobody hears the screams of my desperate plea

Against the course of madness in me spinning for eternity

 

I have this empty space in me where my heart was once filed

This hole of emptiness shall be filled with my muffled cries

So high that it would be my steps to reach the sky and face the new day with a smile

In return to the past I traversed a hundred million miles.

 

For the things I choose to forget and those who left me alone

I would not need my heart again for all of you shall be written in stone

As this person who writes behind words, tears begins to foam

For at last, his visions is now what he calls home.


Something I Hide

At times like this, I stay awake writing thoughts in my head.

Tonight is different. Nothing special. Just different.

I have no one else to talk to so I’d rather spill what’s in my mind here.

I’m writing this to let me feel that someone’s listening. To fool myself that someone is eager to know my case. Even though there’s no response, I’m taking my chances for someone to hear my helpless voice.

Because I feel locked up. No one’s trying to help and it’s been years of struggle. Much have I said that my chains are unbound but no. I say that I am free but no. I don’t know if it’s only me. Exposing myself in plain sight is not my thing but I guess I have no choice. I already went through this point of no return.

I try to be happy. Everyone tells me that. Move on. Yeah, but it’s never that easy for me. Judge me. Tell me I’m weak, a coward, a douche or a fucking asshole, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been through that. I’m expert in making a whole total shit out of myself. These chains seem to grip much tighter around my neck.

It’s asphyxiating. You have nowhere to go. You have no one to talk to. Some friends are busy. Some don’t understand and will just leave you to rot. Help screams from within and this is an echo. A cry that’s ricocheting around these four walls I’m into. Words that have been plaguing my mind for almost a lifetime.

That is if I still wake up tomorrow. Sometimes I wish I shouldn’t have. Death has been standing by my side for a long time now. He whispers things in my ear. Words that few would talk about. Words others fear to talk about. Words that can lead me to his place. I always try to ignore him. His voice just booms whenever I’m alone but I’m used to it. The only thing I hate is that it’s an eternal struggle for me to stand back up. I’m always caught in the middle of the process of rebuilding myself when I’ll just break down. And you don’t know how it feels. How every inch of sweat you poured into that confidence. That smile I’ve always wanted to show to everybody. To show that I can, too, such as themselves, to be positive. To show them all that I can do it by myself. But before I even place my feet on the ground, before I could stand tall and proud, the pressure builds up and pushes me back down. Countless of times, have I fell on my hands and knees. I’m searching for valid reasons but they seem to evade me.

I can’t open the door. The windows are too little. The light I see is only coming from the extreme darkness this room is projecting. It’s too dark. I’m not sure if day even exists out there.

Is the sun still shining bright?

Can I still wave and greet the moon: Hi?

Do the seas still crash its waves to the rocks?

Will the sky be peaceful once rain stopped to fall?

Can I still recognize the face who will look at me in the mirror?

Will I still remember the faces who stood by my side?

Can I still feel how it’s like to feel?

Do they still help people behind these doors?

Will the light shine my face bright as I inhale the calming breeze of your breath?

Will you accept me for who I have become?

Could you spare some time and talk with me when I came back?

Would you free me from these chains that bound me to myself?

Are you seeing me?

Can you hear my call?

Do you see my tears?

They’re shouting for help.

I’m hearing his voice again…