Tag Archives: past

Same Formula, Different Variables

Constant, unimaginable
Same flow, different road.
The traffic, the lights
The intersection and signs
Are all the same but the day.

Different cars, faces and voices
Echoes bounce back
Different waves, intensity and direction.
The breeze is still but never the same.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow
We walk the same path and follow
The same moments of the past
And thinking the moments would last

But it’s the same thing all over again
Like the hands of the clock on the wall
Circling and circling ’til the end
Telling the same, right but different call.

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Air & Water

The misdirection came to life

with ourselves living between the line

and it has been so clear since then,

it’s what divides us and struggle to be whole again.

 

We fall with every mistakes

feeding the disturbance away.

Accompanying loneliness

with imaginary friends of the past

with the disease of the old

and hearts tearing apart.

 

We build a ship and sail away from them

to live in solace and seek happiness.

But the waves aren’t calm.

 

And the breeze has been turning to storms.

The sky is raging and so is the sea.

 

The mast has broken

and waters start pouring in.

 

The ship is dancing

on angry waves and winds

and the surge drives us away

to the sight of isolation

of nothing but skies and seas.

Of cloudy weather and broken wings.

 

And the disaster has stopped.

The calm is consuming.

Finding a way back to the shore.

Lost in a world we never knew.


Ephemeral Tragedie

Here we are again in an extremely ordinary day and me handing out two pictures to you that looked seemingly the same and very much familiar. It is your latest family picture. You wonder why I gave it to you and what would you do with it. Then I say, “Spot the difference between the two pictures.” You unquestioningly did and took a minute and you stare back at me with those piercing eyes, “There’s nothing wrong with the pictures,” you say. “Look again,” I answered back.

For a second you thought the lights flickered and found an empty space where you think you were supposed to be in one of the pictures. You will notice because you’re the one that fills the back in between your mother and father’s head. There were you. But no. You stared at the picture and found yourself exactly where you were supposed to be. It’s just the flickering of the lights. There is no difference.

But in truth there was a difference. You just convinced yourself that it didn’t happen.

That the moment you saw yourself lost was when you see the very room you were standing in seconds ago and you were looking at it in the picture that was once your family picture. How ridiculous it had been, you thought.

Is the thought really that ridiculous to determine the impossibility of the event? Or perhaps we are not only inclined to understand and experience the glitches of time?

We all have a lifetime to decide…


Cold Summer Nights

And I’m writing for you tonight

To remember your eyes that once burn bright

And these words that are left unsaid

Shall keep you to your sleep instead

 

But are you safe now?

The things you threw off of your shelves

The memories we missed

The moments that we shared

Will stay by my side and keep me contained

Until you say those words that will free me from myself

The truth that you despise every inch of me

And loathe the moment we first met

So you won’t look away everytime our eyes set

On each other fixated by the haunting past I brought to you

 

The times of regret that I filled

Were deeply situated on sorrows

Whereas I can no longer see your smile

That once kept me to this untainted wisps of time

 

But you’re finally free

Yet you can’t stand looking at me

And these summer nights

Will keep haunting me

As I rest assured you’re sound asleep

Dreaming of him that deserves you more

Than my worthless screams

Echoing behind these doors

 

And have you know I am wasted?

We share dark pasts that can no longer last

Because the strings were cut by me with broken trusts

And those promises…are they still there?

Those crying words that left their stare

I’ve broken you and it’s not fair

 

I’m letting you know that I’m okay

Still living a nightmare even if you will stay

Because I know deep inside this gaping hole

Where my heart supposed to be

Lies the amount of sadness 

I know you couldn’t keep

And let me carry the burden myself

As you search for another

A man you deserve

Who will treat you well 

And kiss you to sleep

To drive the monsters away

As you dream blissfully tonight

And me praying you’re safe.


A Calling for Eternal Slumber

And I could talk to the moon every night

About the things we cannot grasp

About how we struggle to keep chasing

The sun we dream to have

 

We burn bridges instead of creating them

We isolate ourselves to the things we love the most

Fearing that someday we’ll regret

How we lost the things that keeps us who we are

 

Until we lose every part of ourselves

Bit by bit tearing us apart

Until the fire burns us to ashes

Slowly drifting to the memories of the wind

 

Every single thing you own will fade

Every single friend you love won’t stay

But neither of these, I have none

But only a single person, the epitome of my existence

 

Yet the things we desire are the ones out of reach

It’ll dare you to jump to the ocean

And swim to the farthest island

And no one will care if you reach it alive or not

 

So I pretend not to care if she’ll stay or not

In my life, though she’s not my possession

Yet her her presence is enough

To stir my emotions

 

How many times I tore myself apart longing for her

But I cannot because I have myself

A problem no one sees, hear or feel

A problem neither I could comprehend

 

How Nobody feels my agony beneath my lungs

How Nobody sees me alone inside the darkness of my mind

How Nobody hears the screams of my desperate plea

Against the course of madness in me spinning for eternity

 

I have this empty space in me where my heart was once filed

This hole of emptiness shall be filled with my muffled cries

So high that it would be my steps to reach the sky and face the new day with a smile

In return to the past I traversed a hundred million miles.

 

For the things I choose to forget and those who left me alone

I would not need my heart again for all of you shall be written in stone

As this person who writes behind words, tears begins to foam

For at last, his visions is now what he calls home.


Past Dwellers Are Not Allowed

I hate it how people make you look stupid when they tell you what you should have done instead. I hate it how they make it sound so easy besides the given fact that they know that you can’t undo what you have done and make themselves look superior to you while you are there regretting your choices, giving them satisfaction that what they had just told you was the right thing to do. Their words say, “I’m right because we will never know the answer so shut up.”. I mean, it sucks. Big time. They can make you feel that you are so wrong as if you had just made your biggest decision in life. You’ll know when it’s coming. I know how it sounds like.

They say it in a way that they are so extremely sure of what they are saying. It even comes with the story of their own experience. Seriously, what are the odds that you share the same fate? The possibilities are infinite. A certain decision will make one of those possibilities real and those that are not chosen will disappear. Some would probably exist again somewhere in a point of your future in life. That, I may say is what most of us call the “second chances”. So why would you tell someone that the other choices will give better outcomes than of that you chose? How can you possibly know what are the right and wrong decisions an individual can make? I remember my Economics professor once told us, “Your decisions are all based on where you think you can get the most satisfaction among the possible choices that you have.”

Is it the feeling of being above all else that makes people to push others down much more when they know if the person is helpless? The feeling of being in control with something that you know you can’t? Because the right answer one assumes lies unverifiable and will never be once you talk about it in the past tense.

It’s entirely different from the I-told-you-so scenarios. This is more likely of a prediction that came true but the other chooses otherwise. What I’m talking about is more like of a you-suck-at-decision-making-but-you-won’t-be-if-I-were-you scenario.

You can change the past as long as your imagination can handle it but accept that reality forbids it. If even there’s a concrete living representation of reality, it would be laughing in your face because that’s just plain stupid. If by any chance what you think you’ve done is wrong, you can always apologize and make up for the mess you made. You spilled someone’s drink. Accident or on purpose, you’re the one responsible. Make sure you’ll clean it up. You don’t have to be told to clean your shit anymore. Stop messing with people’s past.