Monthly Archives: February 2013

It’s worth a shot.

morellaroad

Live a little.

    Stop stressing.

I NEED people to realise that almost everything that concerns their daily lives, both physically and emotionally, is of no consequence whatsoever. Everything that you think is important, probably isn’t. Nothing and nobody is important, and when you realise that, and once you truly understand,you can get on with your life. Go insane. Be ridiculous. Release your inner weirdness. You are a freak; so take your clothes off, release yourself, run naked in the rain, dance in public, paint pictures, fall in love, open your eyes, expand your fucking horizon. Prepare yourself for the endless waves of transformation. Acknowledge all opportunity. Freak the fuck outta yourself and condone shitting your pants. Don’t live your life on the edge. Jump the fuck off it. Go and do it… Make yourself happy.

    Seek smiling.

Live your life and enjoy the fantastic side of things whilst your…

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Falling Without A Parachute

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Tonight as my pen cries with ink

Along with this heart that refuses to speak

These eyes, since you left, never slept

You’re in my mind – and it’s thinking way too deep

 

We talk without sound, not even a whisper

Your voice was unheard of

Yet a sweet thing to think of

As I lay here and hear your emotions thunder

 

It was not for me to receive

Nor am I worthy of your kindest glance

After all it was him whom you chose to believe in

And I hate that I don’t stand a chance

 

It led me to find what’s good in me

As the voice in my head replies, “What a pity.”

I have nothing, no one but myself

Whose love is not enough to maintain the sanity in this head

 

I just want someone to care

And I wanted it to be you and no one else

If approved by fate, I’ll be undeniably happy

For someone finally start to notice me

 

Sometimes, I tend to create illusions

But not dreams that are possible

I am grasping for every solution

On how to make you look through me – my greatest delusion

 

I won’t say goodbye

I can’t say it’s the end

I’ve prepared a lot of surprise

It’s a stand I want to defend

 

Before the day ends, I have a wish

Stay with me, even just in my dreams

For tonight, I want to hold your hand

Hug you under the moon, dance with the stars

And the galaxies are the witness

As I confess

And gently give your forehead a kiss.


So close… Yet, so far away.

Close your eyes and transcend to the world of dreams where we will defy reality and let it beg as we bend it according to our will and into our realm of imagination to frame up our happiness against the wall and for eternity, we shall fall.

Of fresh wounds and scars we will fight with our eyes closed for the things we’ve been struggling for and breathe each other’s words from the earth beneath, knowing the sounds we hear are nothing but the silence of the beating of our hearts with our hands holding together as we take each step to oblivion–the darkness we sought to tread between these halls of uncertainty and foolishness.

Endless, we shall be as we draw near closer to the door, and together we touched the knob hand in hand as we battle against fate.


A Drop of Pleasure

I fail to see the signs.

Slowly I feel the ground vanish

beneath my feet as I collect

your portrait of memories

I once shattered in anguish.

 

Free-falling in the air

through the gallery of your smiles.

A bottomless place I crafted.

Your permanent place in my head.

Yet your presence is absent.

 

As I go deeper,

The light in your eyes didn’t fade.

The air that cushions around me

turns to pain and longing

knowing I couldn’t touch your hair

nor hear you speak behind that canvas

of embedded paint

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of the color red and black.

 

As I hit the earth

with solitude

arms outstretched,

reaching the paintings,

grasping my dreams.

 

My body lying lifeless,

wishing to fall back.

I stood against the pain, smiling

and prepare myself to do this once again.


Past Dwellers Are Not Allowed

I hate it how people make you look stupid when they tell you what you should have done instead. I hate it how they make it sound so easy besides the given fact that they know that you can’t undo what you have done and make themselves look superior to you while you are there regretting your choices, giving them satisfaction that what they had just told you was the right thing to do. Their words say, “I’m right because we will never know the answer so shut up.”. I mean, it sucks. Big time. They can make you feel that you are so wrong as if you had just made your biggest decision in life. You’ll know when it’s coming. I know how it sounds like.

They say it in a way that they are so extremely sure of what they are saying. It even comes with the story of their own experience. Seriously, what are the odds that you share the same fate? The possibilities are infinite. A certain decision will make one of those possibilities real and those that are not chosen will disappear. Some would probably exist again somewhere in a point of your future in life. That, I may say is what most of us call the “second chances”. So why would you tell someone that the other choices will give better outcomes than of that you chose? How can you possibly know what are the right and wrong decisions an individual can make? I remember my Economics professor once told us, “Your decisions are all based on where you think you can get the most satisfaction among the possible choices that you have.”

Is it the feeling of being above all else that makes people to push others down much more when they know if the person is helpless? The feeling of being in control with something that you know you can’t? Because the right answer one assumes lies unverifiable and will never be once you talk about it in the past tense.

It’s entirely different from the I-told-you-so scenarios. This is more likely of a prediction that came true but the other chooses otherwise. What I’m talking about is more like of a you-suck-at-decision-making-but-you-won’t-be-if-I-were-you scenario.

You can change the past as long as your imagination can handle it but accept that reality forbids it. If even there’s a concrete living representation of reality, it would be laughing in your face because that’s just plain stupid. If by any chance what you think you’ve done is wrong, you can always apologize and make up for the mess you made. You spilled someone’s drink. Accident or on purpose, you’re the one responsible. Make sure you’ll clean it up. You don’t have to be told to clean your shit anymore. Stop messing with people’s past.


Eigengrau

You can never feel the pain you etched in the stone.

A love story we engraved using the tainted ink of nothing but fraud and tears.

As I remain, I lay, thinking, I breathe.

I’m holding on to something that never was and never will.

 

It was a fool’s hope, a lie you laid on the darkness of the ocean,

As I was cradled by fraudulent memories you and I never had.

It was that smile that I failed to see.

A perfect beauty of porcelain that speaks of madness and serenity.

 

Dancing over the black light, you faced me with a grin.

You were just a dream that hell wishes me to fall into.

You were a sin walking forward and the light had started to dim.

I fell on my knees and did something I never meant to.

 

Silent screams, and muffled cries.

Your eyes, they told a tale of bad goodbyes.

You held on to my hand and gave me a kiss,

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As we fell together, El, under the blackness of the abyss.